Debra Burton Brown

Caution Might Be Killing Your Confidence...Plus the Confidence of Those You Love

"Daddy!  Daddy!  Watch me ride my bike!"

An obviously loving and caring father was proudly watching his daughter test out her new bicycle at the local middle school track.  Even with training wheels, you could see the determined concentration on her young face.  She was giving this task total focus and willpower.  Her speed picked up ever so slightly as she started gaining confidence.  Yes!  This was going to work.  She would master riding a bike.  A smile started forming on her face.

"Watch out, honey!  Slow down.  I don't want you falling over.  There's a curve coming up.  You might fall.  Don't take the curve too fast."

Dad is giving her the classic, ironic confidence destroyer!

Here is the classic irony.  Confidence has just been linked directly with the goal of falling, reducing speed, and the unspoken "you might not be able to do this" outcome.   He is thinking he is giving her the information she needs for success.  Unfortunately, he has just set her up for a lifetime of success linked with failure.

"Hey, wait a minute,"  you say.  "He's just protecting his daughter.  He's looking out for her.  What should he do...just let her wreck or hurt herself?"

Absolutely not.  Here's the point:  Focus on the success outcome...rather than the failure outcome.  If she does not wreck her bike in the curve then several factors probably lent a hand.

She would take the curve at a safe speed, with a steady hand, and keep her focus strong!

"Good job, honey!  You're doing a great job watching the road and keeping a good speed...especially in those curves!  You're being a great rider!"

This still focuses on safety.  The emphasis is on success and what is working with this young girl's riding experience.  Her growing confidence is now linked with success and safety...working together for accomplishing her goals.

What's this have to do with work?  Or anything else? 

Where are you "shutting people down" at work and at home by bringing up the potential disasters...rather than congratulating them on the great skills they are using.  Focus on what they do well. 

Business Writing Expertise

Congratulations are in order...for me, that is! 

After three intensive days of videotaping, critiquing, and presentation suggestions, I have passed requirements for Subject Matter Expertise (SME) in business writing. 

The journey has been a roller coaster ride, full of thrills and chills.  When I fell in love with the written word at age 6, who would have thought my passion would follow such adventurous paths. 

• Creating workbooks that more than 15,000 people used for building confidence, communication, and learning skills.
• Meeting celebrities and corporate presidents for individual coaching sessions.
• Traveling from Alaska to Switzerland working with fellow writing and reading enthusiasts.
• Leading seminars for leadership, communication, graphology, business writing, and organizational change with thousands of employees and managers.

"Run, Spot, run!" 

What amazing words.  It was a complete fascination for me how black markings on a white page created a message...a message people from all walks of life could share.  It did not matter what your race, nationality, gender, religion, education, age, or anything else was.  If you were an English reader, you could share each message.  And amazingly, if you read other languages there were books written for you as well!

Travel, information, and experiences were wrapped in the covers of thousands of books in my local library.  May I just say, for the record, that libraries are one of the top ten gifts our great nation contains.

Although I do have a college degree (B.A., 1976, William and Mary), graduate education for an independent working woman was out-of-reach.  Books, though, were just a library trip away.  In a normal year, 250 books pass before my eyes.  Drama, mystery, psycholinguistics, neurology, change management, career development, religion, and many more share their wisdom.

Thank you for indulging my word passion!  Here's to new adventures in words...both spoken and printed.  May you discover the amazing paths that words can reveal.

Should I be laughing or crying?

Last Friday night found me heading home from a three-day business outing.  The last leg of my flight was from Dulles Airport to the small airport in Charlottesville, VA...close to my home.  I love flying in to smaller airports for many reasons:  less traffic, quicker baggage claiming, etc. 

The only down side is landing.  No matter how good the pilot is, the landing is a little bumpy.  Chalk it up to mountains and air currents.  The smaller planes always do a little roller-coaster imitation.  If you land in these airports often, you understand it's just part of the package.  Usually there might be white knuckles gripping the arm rest and a look of stoic calm on your face.  To newcomers of this experience it can be pretty unsettling.

As we were landing, the roller coaster ride started in full swing. 

Here's where it began funny!  Every time we hit a "dip", the two-year-old girl in the seat behind me would laugh in delighted joy. 

She thought it was great...and part of a game!  As she laughed with each new dip, you could see more and more faces lighting up with smiles around the plane's tiny cabin.  What had just moments before been an unsettling feeling was now turning into an adventure...where even smiling could happen!

Managers, supervisors, and team leaders...wake up!  Where can you turn a bumpy roller-coaster "ride" for your team into a positive adventure? 

It starts with you!  If you are moaning and groaning...dreading each dip, then your team will follow the lead.  What would happen if you looked at each "dip" as an opportunity for building new work adventures, team cooperation, and growth?  The people working with you might begin thinking of solutions...rather than just moaning about all the problems.

Turn fear into smiles!  Look for business adventures everywhere.